Tag Archives: Through the Glass

Through The Glass: Post Surgical Thoughts on Mis-diagnosis or Missed Diagnosis?

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Is there really a difference?  My Colorado Medical Team ignored an obvious abnormality that should have been dealt with 8 months sooner.  They refused to listen to my ophthalmologist, who was eventually the Dr that sent me to the emergency room, leading to the proper diagnosis.

So now I am left to deal with the consequences.  My Oncologist and the first Neurosurgeon assigned to review my case specifically told me there was “nothing to see here.”  Well I refused to allow that surgeon to perform my biopsy and moved on to someone that I could trust.  My new surgeon had the connections to get me to the Mayo Clinic, and that’s where I am.

MyQuickCut

I started with a close-cut, realizing that the second surgery would require shaving my head and would leave me with a nice scar to share with Scott…….and work not only on the tumor, but also an aneurysm that was discovered during MRI imaging.

The Aneurysm turned out to be too small to deal with now, but is on my list of items to keep and eye on. The ‘goop’ on my head is surgical superglue;  no stitches here.  I have no complaints about my Mayo Clinic Medical Team….I feel like they actually want to make me whole again.  I now have tiny metal plates holding my skull bone in place.

 

So I await the planning for my Proton Beam Radiation Treatments.  Hopefully home by May and settling back in to my normal life.  I’ll find out soon about the placement of the metal alignment pins for the Beam.

Looking forward to the future, how do I feel about my Boulder Team’s Ability to monitor possible tumor regrowth and that aneurysm? That I will explore with the Social Workers here……..

Through the Glass: Now for the Knuckle Ball

As you read this post I will already have been in surgery for several hours………..

In keeping with my earlier Baseball Reference, we move on to the famous Knuckle Ball Pitch.  As you read this I will be entering a second round of surgery.  The first was successful as far as it went.  But the location and geometry of the Tumor require a second entry point on the side of my head behind the left eye.

Below my surgical pre-visualization image………And following the Dylan Thomas Poem……with the most memorable lines highlighted

“Do not go gentle into that good night”

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Do not go gentle into that good night

Dylan Thomas1914 – 1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Through the Glass: Post Surgery

MayoMug_2019

After 13 hours of surgery; 90% of my tumor removed (excellent for a brain tumor); and 5 days in the Hospital….All I have to show for it is my Mayo Clinic Mug!   I did get released on New Year’s Eve and had that time with my Family.  One final thing I can say about the surgery is that my brain is functioning differently and my visual and audio perceptions are different;  not reduced or degraded, just different.  I will continue to explore this issue during my recovery.  Although my traumatic brain injury was planned and controlled, there are still ramifications I’ll be dealing with further down the line.  How will this affect my Artistic Vision?

What I have also experienced is the highest level of health care service EVER IN MY LIFE!  I want everyone to have this level of care!!!!!!

On January 23rd I start my Proton Beam Radiation Treatment.  Last year a friend of mine died from Esophageal Cancer.  The Proton Beam treatment was an option for his cancer that was never offered to him, because it wasn’t covered by his insurance.  I AM PISSED that he didn’t at least  have the option.

Through The Glass: Terms and Conditions

As You read this I will be in surgery for my brain tumor; thoughts, prayers and well wishes appreciated.  And the image below will be ‘unpinned’ from my Twitter page, because hopefully after my surgery I will have clarity and not ambiguity…..

I also want to explain how my ‘medical updates’ will intertwine with my normal Photographic Posts.

And this is the ONLY time you will ever see a Biblical Quote here, but you will see the connection:

1 Corinthians Chap 13 verse 12: “For now we see through a glassdarkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” 

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The Symbol of My Journey

All of my Journey Updates will start with the heading:  “Through the Glass”  And I have added that tag to take you directly to these updates if you are interested.  I hope that you can see it refers to the Ambiguity of what I am facing.  That what made this image so timely.

Through The Glass Update: My Photo Travel Kit

So as I embark on my Medical Journey in Arizona, as  I am able I will be doing only Photography and Music as my therapies.  Most of my cameras are shown here.  But these are the ones I’m taking to AZ:

My Medium Format Favorite:  Mamiya 6X7: with 43 mm, 50 mm, 150 mm and 210 mm lenses.  But I mostly use the 43 an 50 mm.

Mamiya7X7Resize

Mamiya 645 for more versatility.  This camera gives me all of the SLR options, including  a a nice 80 mm macro:

MyMamiyas

The Fuji GA645Zi; My Medium Format Street Camera, because of the auto-focus and auto-advance.  Basically a medium format point and shoot;  which is why I got it.

FujiGA645Zi

Pinhole Cameras: Diana Multi:  I’ve had a lot of fun with this camera over the past year.

Diana_Pinhole

The Reality So Subtle Pinhole:  Still working out the Range Finding on this camera.  I have the filter-option 6X6 model.  I have to say this camera has the smoothest mechanism of any Pinhole I’ve ever used.  So I’ll take it with me and work on the range (maybe I should watch some of the YouTube videos?)

ReallySoSubtle_Posted

And Finally, my “riding shotgun” always in the front seat and ready Minolta X-700:  My jump out of the car and shoot camera.  I have 3 of these and they are all going.  I use my trusty Tamron-adaptall 28-200 zoom.  A combination I have been using since the early 90’s.

Minolta_X700

OK, It occurs to me that I won’t really use all of these cameras in a 3-4 month period.  Which one would you leave behind?

When Life Throws a Curve

From the vagaries and ups and downs of life.  I find myself recovering from surgery with time to reflect.  Another Intersection of Life and Art.

As you read this I am on my way to the Mayo Clinic, Phoenix Arizona for a Consultation.  But here is where The Story Begins:

On October 3, 2018, I was diagnosed with a “brain mass”.  Vision problems had sent me to the Ophthalmologist.  His testing and measurements of my left eye indicated something bad was going on behind that eye.  He sent me to the emergency room, calling ahead to discuss with the Dr. what tests would be appropriate.

(The Ambiguity of the Mirror from “The Artist’s Studio” symbolizes my Journey.  So it will be the featured Image for these medical update posts…….)

When I arrived, they were ready for me and ordered an MRI with contrast dye, no questions asked.  The diagnosis:  Brain tumor of unknown type growing behind my left eye; referral the the Neurosurgeons.

But, there is also a back story:  I am an 8-year breast cancer survivor.  So I also (and for the rest of my life)  have an Oncologist. He now enters the mix. His fear is a metastatic spread of my previous cancer, which would be a sure death sentence.

Weeks of testing:  Bone Scans, PET Scans, CT Scans…………All showing no breast cancer;  Dodged that bullet!  But I still have an unidentified tumor in my head that needs to be identified so the best treatment can be determined.  All non-invasive procedures exhausted, now it is time the the Neurosurgeons to perform a biopsy.

So how do they access that area behind the Eye?  By drilling holes through you sinuses.  The ENT Surgeon does that. I didn’t even get a black eye from this; but I do have a puffy face.  My worst bruise was from the arterial blood pressure tap-in.  Apparently when you have brain surgery, they tap an artery to have the most accurate blood pressure.

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Waiting for my Biopsy

Biopsy Results:  I have a rare but treatable/survivable brain tumor (Which I will name and discuss later).  It is in effect a birth defect.  It was supposed to be reabsorbed as my little fetus grew, but it wasn’t.  And when that happens you have a little guy in your head that probably won’t be a problem unless you are 1 in a million me.

My Neurosurgeon removed what was safe to remove without doing harm.  It was affecting my optic nerve (first symptom), my Pituitary Gland and Carotid Artery (the brain’s source of blood).

Follow-up will require a unique radiation treatment only available in a few places.  So I have been referred to The Mayo Clinic in Phoenix AZ.

POSTSCRIPT: Ongoing, I will be taking a road trip to Phoenix (Dates TBD); loading up the 4Runner with my camera gear and film (bought for a cancelled trip to the Everglades).  Radiation I know will be 5 days a week for 8-10 weeks.  So I will be doing photography as I feel up to it and posting as I go.  Exploring Arizona for that time and keeping OldSchoolPhotoLabs very busy.

Ciao Baby!